“As women simply surviving isn’t good enough, we should to be thriving in all aspects of our lives. From the outside our lives look fabulous but how many of us are struggling? Why do we see it as a failure to admit this and ask for help?”
My career is booming more than ever before, I am getting married this year to the love of my life, we have a beautiful home with our cat and a puppy and it’s all so exciting – but it can also at times feel a little overwhelming. I sat down a couple of weeks ago and thought about the multitude of things on my to do list and felt like I was very close to having a little meltdown…. I have also recently been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia so it all felt a tad overwhelming and my fiance researched that perhaps a coaching programme could help with a chronic condition… I thought absolutely – that sounds great – but how on earth do I have the time to now go and research that, and find reviews and all the other things you think of when talking to someone about your entire life???
And would you believe, in that exact moment one of my friends messaged me with no knowledge of the above whatsoever and said she had done this amazing course called PRIMED TO THRIVE and they’re hosting a weekend in London which she thought I’d love.. I mean, sometimes you just have to look up and say, ‘Universe you’re bloody amazing!’
As life would have it I can’t make the weekend course (April 6 – 7 2019) – so instead I arranged to speak to Fiona Tucker who founded PRIMED TO THRIVE. Fiona is an incredibly empowering woman and an accredited Ontological Coach. I’ve been lucky enough to organise some one on one sessions with her and had my first on Friday.
My favourite thing about Fiona’s teaching is the whole approach to what it is to THRIVE! How often do you feel like you’re just surviving? Or just getting by? And how often do you feel like you’re thriving? For me, it’s a mix between the lot and it’s something that has really awoken me since learning about the course. I love my life, my career, my loved ones, the money I make, the creative freedom I have – but sometimes I also feel stuck. And I couldn’t believe how much I worked through and ‘managed’ with Fiona in just one session. I’m now waiting like a giddy child for their birthday for our next session in 10 days time.
The amazing thing about the course is that it’s a two day intensive that will really allow you to learn some truths about yourself in the most positive and beneficial way. The thing I’m gutted to be missing out on is the sharing process and the ability to be part of a tribe over the weekend workshops. As women it’s so important to be able to share and offload and discuss and support one another. It’s one of the thing that affects me the most in working for myself and often on my own – so I would have loved to have been able to attend next weekend to be part of it all.
Instead, I did a little Q&A with Fiona to get to grips with PRIMED TO THRIVE.
What is Primed to Thrive?
Primed is a methodology for better living, it is cutting edge coaching informed by both neuroscience and the best advances in our understanding of what makes us human. The process builds a tool kit designed by each individual around what she needs to break the mould of low level anxiety, fear, emotional turmoil and the mental/physical stress that modern living produces. This is done through a series of building blocks that make our invisible limiting beliefs, negative self talk, emotional triggers and parasite thoughts visible through a natural non-invasive self inquiry process. I developed the process over thousands of hours of direct experience dealing with women’s issues in one on one coaching sessions and documenting their successes and what didn’t work for them. The process is based on the ontological coaching structure which states that all human beings have a ‘Way of Being’ that is unique to them, that we are first and foremost meaning making machines and that we live in the domains of language, body and emotion. There are two ways of looking at the world:
- Through the story and all of the gory details of the past (The What)
- Through the person who is creating and living that story, focusing on the here and now and spending little or no time in the detail of the past story (The Who)
Primed, works with the person, first creating awareness of where they are at this present moment, identifying where they want to go and then supplying them with the means to build their tool kit not only to get them where they want to go in this moment but that will continue to serve them as evolutionary beings going forward. It is said that the best teachers are those who prepare their students to be their own teacher. That is my mission to help each woman tap into her own innate abilities, talents, gifts and skills and in so doing to show them how they can take control of their own minds, emotions, body and spirit.
What does Thriving mean to you?
Thriving for me is having the tools to be resilient. To know that life is a learning process and that sometimes it is not easy to see the lesson. Most importantly thriving is feeling emotional secure, knowing that I love and am loved. Having the internal space to be generous and grateful. Being considered by others and that I contribute to something bigger than myself. That I grow and learn daily and that I have a sense of humour, I take time to see beauty, I spend more time living in the present, little time in the past and use my ability to imagine the future to make me happier and stronger and never to frighten myself with possible monsters under the bed. Thriving is balance and peace. When we have balance and peace everything else must be in its place.
Life is one experience after the other so I might not achieve that peace and balance 24/7 but I know that up until now I have always found my way home with the Primed tool kit as my compass and my map.
Who can attend Primed?
The weekend represents the basic tool kit it gives the participants everything they need to go forward.
It is tailored to anyone wants to expend their way of being, to learn more about themselves and to acquire or improve their tools and skills for better living. I have been doing this for 8 years and I learn something new at every event and on every course.
Each event brings together a unique group of people who through the experiences and dynamics we live together bring up perspectives and ways of using the tools that are new learnings in themselves.
No matter what level you are at, if you are open to others you will learn and be transformed.
If someone was thinking about having a deeper connection with their own thoughts and actions – why is next weekend a perfect opportunity for that?
There are two ways of learning and acting in the world.
Learning from the past. – 1st Order Learning. A relatively slow and inefficient way of learning as it requires that we keep falling down until we figure out that we are tripping over the same stone. This is a feedback system from which we can learn but it is not generative given that we cannot affect any change or going to action.
Event ………………Reaction ……………..Result
We see what went wrong afterwards when it is too late.
An evolutionary learning process – 2nd Order Learning (This is the process we learn to recognise and to use throughout the weekend)
Event ……… Observer …………Reflection …………… Choice ……….. Action………..Result
Here we develop the ability to observe our thoughts, emotions and language to reflect, make better choices and act rather than react. In this way of learning we observe the environment see the stone in our path reflect on the consequences and move the stone out of the way.
- Emphasis on the present and the future, while acknowledging learnings from the past – generative learning
- Growing self-awareness and personal responsibility
- Being solution oriented
- Aware of the our own and other people’s needs, agenda and self-direction
- Provide both support and challenge
- Accept 100% responsibility and accountability for both our being and our doing
- Ability to recognise, challenge, adapt, modify or change our beliefs, thoughts and emotions
Why did you create the course?
I created the course to fulfil a promise to myself, having survived stage 4 breast cancer. One day during a chemotherapy session a question started swimming around in my mind. The question was ‘do you want to live or do you just not want to die?’ I realised that it was not at all the same thing. My answer was that I wanted to live. The next question my mind posed was, ‘Why, to go back to living the stressed out, numbing life that got you here?’ Over the next months I spent a lot of time thinking about why! Then I made the promise to myself that I would make a difference and be instrumental in improving other people’s and my own life, Primed is the result of that promise.
I trained as a coach and worked with many women who had spend years on self help books and endless courses which at the end of the day did not deliver what they were looking for and had come to me in desperation to find something that fitted into their lives, that didn’t require them to make earthquake changes but that would set them on a path of transformation, peace and joy were they felt in control.
There are so many courses now and so many people seem to be ‘becoming’ life coaches and offering life advice etc.. What makes Primed different?
Primed is designed to give you what you need in the two day event, by helping you to become aware, to understand the how and the why of your life and to offer you the tools to make the changes you want to make. You can then build on those basic tools at your own pace through individual coaching or by taking the online courses and participating in the webinars. The live sessions are all recorded for easy later access so no matter how hectic your schedule you will always have the recording available. Being part of a community of women who are or have been where you are is at the same time heart warming for the support you get and practical for the advice that is forthcoming out of love and without judgement.
I feel truly blessed that Fiona and her Primed way of living has come in to my life at exactly the right moment and am very lucky to be able to offer my friends and readers access to the course with a very generously discounted rate. The course runs from Saturday 6th – Sunday 7th April 2019 at Airspace, Oxford Street in London. Click on the link to learn more and to make use of the offer: SABINA’S PRIMED TO THRIVE OFFER
This post has been created in collaboration with Primed to Thrive.